


for the next ten minutes

by thatiranianphantom (FrraFee)



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/M, Grief, Infant Loss, Panic, Triggers, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:23:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrraFee/pseuds/thatiranianphantom
Summary: she hadn't expected this(a tiny drabble as to what might have happened if Alice's birth hadn't gone quite as planned)





	for the next ten minutes

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in twenty minutes, did not edit it, and posted it straight away. I put this in the tags but it bears repeating here: this may be a trigger for some. It talks about images of death and stillbirth, so please, if this is something that will disturb you, please do not read.

She had never thought to expect this.

 

It wasn’t in the plan (and the plan was extensive).

 

She remembered every single, excruciating minute of forming the plan. 

 

And this wasn’t in it.

 

* * *

 

Look she doesn’t think of herself as a baby expert. Like, at all.

 

But babies were supposed to cry after birth.

 

That was something they did, right?

 

* * *

  
  


But the baby didn’t make a sound. Didn’t move. And its ( _ her _ ) skin was blue.

  
  
  


Wynonna Earp never wanted to be a mother. Never. She was on two types of birth control precisely to prevent fucking an innocent baby up. 

 

And it wasn’t like she was some Martha Stewart mom, either.

 

Fuck, she couldn’t even cook.

 

No, a baby was better off without her.

 

* * *

  
  


And then, of course, she got pregnant. 

 

Of course, Doc had to go make her fall in love with him and then knock her up. 

 

Yep, that would be how it happened. 

 

Looking back, Wynonna expected that.

  
  


Not quite so anticipated was falling so deeply in love with the child that she hadn’t even met, though. 

 

Especially after the plan had been made, she cherished every kick, every roll, every hiccup. Because that time was all she would ever have. 

 

And that was for the best, really. 

 

She wouldn’t get to name the baby, not the name they answered to, but she would name the baby for herself.

 

_ Alice Michelle _ . 

 

It just fit. 

 

She could see it in her mind, every day of her pregnancy. Her sweet Alice. She had Doc’s eyes and Wynonna’s smile. 

 

* * *

  
  


And how, her Alice was here, and her Alice was still, and blue. 

 

The world blurred and faded out, and there was only Waverly crying out and pounding on her tiny one’s chest, equally loud as the revenants at the door.

  
  
  


Right. She’s the heir. 

  
  


She is always,  _ always  _ the heir. 

  
  


And her daughter is blue. She doesn’t move.    
  


* * *

  
  


Waverly brings the baby closer to Wynonna, keeps pounding on her little chest. 

 

She’s beautiful. 

 

Even blue, she looks like Wynonna. 

 

She’s life-changing, gorgeous, the most perfect thing her mother has ever seen.

 

But she doesn’t breathe. 

  
  


* * *

 

She’s not really sure what triggers it, but she gathers the baby into her arms, breathes in baby soft, cold ( _ so cold _ ) skin, and whispers it into the delicate skin. 

  
  


_ Breathe. Live. Breathe. Live.  _

  
  


This is all the time she’ll ever get. 

  
  


All the time they’ll ever have.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The door cracks. Waverly runs, panicking.

  
  


There will be no helicopter.

 

Perry will have to be contacted. 

 

* * *

  
  


  
Her baby doesn’t breathe. 

  
  
  


She never expected her.

  
  


This wasn’t in the plan.

  
  


She’s beautiful. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> (later, at the hospital, they will tell her about partially blocked airways and whole body cooling and possibilities ischemic brain injuries and she won't hear a single word.
> 
> She'll see a tiny chest rising and falling, feel a little finger curl around hers, and see Doc's eyes on her daughter.
> 
> She'll see that, and then the plan won't matter, nothing will better. 
> 
> Nothing will have prepared her, but it won't matter.
> 
> Nothing else will ever matter)


End file.
